I wasn’t sure how long I would wait

before posting something here.

For me, the silence is probably due to the fact I have hard things to say. Or that January is the worst month of the year for me, an annual event accompanied by the fact that all I want to do is get through it.

Someone I know has died this month. Someone I know lays dying tonight.

I watched a movie about dying.

But I, of course am alive. And typing. And this sometimes seem wrong.

I took a break from the blog because I was bummed out and I hate to write when I am bummed. I don’t want to be exposed. And honestly, a blog can seem ridiculous in light of life and death.

But I think that is just the pride talking, because sometimes a blog is what shares glimpses of truth and maybe my fear just lies in the truth that things can be hard sometimes.

Please pray for Sarah and Eric.

It kind of makes me mad and confused.

And powerless of course.

I think these are the things that teach me that technology is both inconsequential and binding. May we not forget the lives that are lived with great courage and conviction and that make our ordinary lives a appear a little more dangerous.

I know I am feeling more fragile.


2 Responses to “I wasn’t sure how long I would wait”

  1. February 15, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Well for what it’s worth, I am glad you blogged.

    My heart is breaking over Sarah and Eric as well. There are really no words to describe it, even when I prayed for her yesterday, I couldn’t come up with the words. Thank God for the Holy Spirit.

  2. February 17, 2011 at 3:56 am

    hey – i clicked on the link and read up on her story. pretty amazing and sad and inspiring and confusing. i love you ellen. i have missed your posts but missed you more.

    and yes, january does suck.

    love – eb

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